As I have pondered over the last month, one of the recurring themes in my prayer and thought life has been how do I trust God with this. I mean really trust God; not just lip service that says “I trust God” then continues in the stress of life’s circumstances and everything that needs to be done. What does real dependence and faith in a God who loves me and wants the best for me look like in the middle of everything that is going on in my life? For a missionary switching organizations, getting ready to send his first born to university, having dealt with a post surgery infection, dealing with sick pets, having a car battery die, along with the normal living as a missionary overseas things; there was a lot of stuff in May with which to trust God. (Yes I know I switched to third person and you counseling types can interpret it as you wish.)
I could tell you how much I trusted God and about a fountain of joy overflowing from my heart in the midst of everything last month, but that would be a lie. I often found myself redoubling my efforts to get more “stuff” done, believing that more hours worked and more things checked off the to-do list would bring peace. It didn’t.
God was gracious and dropped me gentle reminders from time to time. Reminders that aided me to stop. Stop and simply pray: “You know God, I could really use some help here.” Help in believing that You really have this under control. Help in believing that You really are faithful. Help in really trusting You with all this stuff.
Praise God with me that He is faithful. Pray that I would not be stubborn and ask for His help more often.
Paul