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Many thanks for your prayers for our run-on with malaria. The girls and Donna are much better; Micah Joy is still a bit fatigued. I (Paul) ended with malaria again, however, I am almost back to normal.

This week I will be working in Cotonou on the short wave license, the NGO status for TWR in Benin and the start of a new radio program being produced in Benin. Joining me in Cotonou will be Abdoulaye Sangho, the regional director for TWR in West Africa and a Beninese colleague Virgile Ouendo. While Abdoulaye and Virgile are old hats at developing nation’s politics, I easily get impatient and do not understand some of the cultural nuances, not to mention doing it all in French.

Please pray that God would accomplish this week what He desires, both in terms of the work ahead and His work in our hearts. Pray that we would be in tune with the Spirit, each other and (for me) the French.

Another one of the lessons from December’s dark time was the battle of the Christian life.

The Christian life is a tooth and nail battle with peril and danger accompanying every movement and decision. It is unlike any other battle or conflict that has been fought. Our enemy intimately knows us while many times we only vaguely understand the enemy who is deeply entrenched in our territory. What makes the enemy so dangerous is that our enemy is our own heart, with its deception, stubborn pride, arrogance and continual belief in its own abilities to do good.

Our heart wages war for the control of our lives against the Spirit who wants total control to produce His fruit and accomplish God’s will in our lives. The heart with its unending and relentless campaign against God’s Spirit tries, and many times succeeds, to make us think that we can accomplish some good or be of some benefit to the kingdom of God. It is this lie that leads us to believe in our abilities and leave the power of the Spirit, not with blatant abandonment but with ignorant deception. The battle is to remain in complete dependence on the Spirit to do the work while continually battling the prideful lie of the heart that we in ourselves are useful.

Lord, help us to yield to Your Spirit and die to the lie of our usefulness.

In my last update/blog, I shared about December being a dark month and God’s faithfulness to bring me through and teach me some lessons in the process; one of which concerns the beauty of the Savior.

In speaking on struggles on the mission field John Piper spoke about how missionaries persevered on the mission field because they saw how beautiful the Savior is. They persevered so that they might better know the beauty and wonder of the Savior. During December when things were pretty dark John’s words about the beauty of the Savior haunted me. Did I find the Savior beautiful enough to persevere; was the Savior truly beautiful in my eyes? In the end, the beauty of the Savior overwhelmed me, despite my lack of vision for His beauty. It would be a lie to say that something within me caught a glimpse of the Savior that led me to gaze upon his beauty, like spotting an animal in the wild and then using binoculars to study it. The truth is that the Savior so powerfully revealed Himself I could not have missed it; the only choice was to gaze into His eyes or turn and flee, like walking around a corner of a trail and finding oneself face to face with a majestic lion. This overwhelming beauty of the Savior has produced in me the desire to better see and more purposefully seek the beauty of our God.

Pray that we develop the patience to gaze intently at the Savior’s beauty, carefully studying the details of His radiant face, rather than just quickly glancing in the midst of our daily routines. Pray that we take time to savor and absorb the refreshing drink from the wonderful Counselor, letting His fullness reach the deepest parts of our souls, rather than just sipping enough to finish the present task. Pray that we feast at the banquet table of the Lord’s majesty; intentionally trying all the different delicacies, purposely developing our taste buds, rather than just slamming down some greasy fast food on the road of life.

One of the problems with emailing updates and blogging is how much does one share, especially concerning struggles? This particular update may border on being too honest, so if missionary honesty is daunting for you: skip this update.

The month of December was a dark month for me. The last quarter of 2009 I was traveling lots and struggling with health issues (you can read past blogs for the details www.cox-net.com/prayer_blog). This was already after being away from my family a good deal in the second and third quarter of 2009 (three months out of six). A tremendous amount of energy was poured into the new strategic plan for TWR Africa. When I returned from my last trip to South Africa I was exhausted in all aspects of this word. Add to this I had a resistant strain of malaria for a couple of weeks in December.

There were a number of days in December when it was all I could do to pray: “Lord, please help me….” Discipline of Bible study was gone. Discipline of prayer (other than the above mentioned prayer) was gone. For the most part, any spiritual discipline that you can think of was non-existent in my life. I was very clear with God that if He did not work miraculously in my life, I was done with missions and moving back to the States.

God was very gracious and kind to help me through a dark month and taught me some important lessons in the process; perhaps the dark month (albeit hard) was what God knew I needed. Let me take this opportunity to thank those of you who have prayed for me (special thanks to BH).

Praise God with me for His graciousness and kindness to bring me through a dark month. Pray that I will implement the lessons learned.

In my last blog I requested prayer because I did not feel well and was going to have further testing done while I was in Johannesburg. Thank you very much for your prayers in this regard. The results of the further testing showed no abnormalities and that I am in good health. Up until now, I have been very tight lipped about my health as I did not want to raise unnecessary concerns while taking prudent precautionary measures given the situation.

For the last few months I have been having unusual feelings around my heart. It seemed prudent to discuss the situation with Fiona (our TWR colleague who is also a medical doctor). Upon examination Fiona found my blood pressure to be slightly elevated and an ECG done in Benin was normal.  All the indicators pointed to stress and lack of exercise. Although, given my families heart history and lack of facilities in Benin to test for and deal with cardiac problems, Fiona choose the path of prudence until a cardiac problem could be clearly excluded. Fiona started me on Atenolol, which is a medicine to protect the heart and lower blood pressure. The first week on Atenolol I did not feel very well as my body adjusted to the medicine. At present, the Atenolol is causing some insomnia, fatigue and a light pressure in my head / dull headache. The doctor in Johannesburg, Dr LeCrus, fully agreed with Fiona’s prudence until he could do a stress ECG and get a full blood workup done. Both the stress ECG and the blood work (including cholesterol) were all normal. Dr LeCrus would like to taper me off the Atenolol over a period of a few weeks.

I am aware that requesting prayer for my health without giving too many details was frustrating for some. However, I choose to say very little as I feared if I said too much it would cause unnecessary concern. Especially since it was mostly likely that the symptoms were caused by stress and Fiona starting me on Atenolol was purely a precautionary measure until a cardiac problem was excluded.

I would appreciate your continued prayers for the insomnia, fatigue and dull headaches as I taper off the Atenolol. In the near future I will post on the rest of my trip to Johannesburg and strategic planning meetings.

Grace & Peace — Paul

We are incredibly grateful for all your prayers – thank you very much.

The situation with L. continues to improve. I spent some time with L. this week and he continues to seek what lessons God has for him in this situation. Today (Nov 5, 2009) is a court hearing that L. is required to attend to insure that all the insurance paperwork is in order. L. and the team have worked diligently to insure all L.’s paperwork is in order so this hearing should be more of a formality for L.. The only concern is that the family of the man who was killed does not have all their paperwork ready. Pray that this does not create additional proceedings for L..

HAAC (the agency that issues broadcast licenses in Benin) has requested additional information concerning our shortwave application. Much of what is requested is clarification on international shortwave procedures, which can be a very confusing topic as multiple international organizations (UN, ITU, HFCC, etc…) and governments are involved. Pray for wisdom as we prepare our responses, pray for HAAC to clearly understand all the complexities of international shortwave broadcasts and pray that TWR finds favor with HAAC.

Last week I did not feel well. This week I am feeling much better, but the doctor would still like for me to get some further tests during my next trip to South Africa mid November. I would appreciate your prayers for my health.

Lastly, next week our family will go to Togo for a Spiritual Life Conference. Please pray this will be a time of spiritual refreshment.

Many thanks for your prayers.

Grace & Peace — Paul

Thank you for your prayers for L.. As most of you know, L. is an employee of TWR in Benin who was driving home last week and had an accident with a motorcycle that killed the driver of the motorcycle.  In Benin it is normal procedure when there is an accident with a fatality for the driver to remain in police custody until the police are assured the family of the deceased will not seek revenge and until the innocence of the driver can be established. Because of this L. spent four days in police custody and then another three days in prison (jails and prisons in developing nations are less then ideal). It was a hard week on L., his family and the team here in Benin. While it was a hard week, we also saw God’s hand moving and L. had many opportunities to share about his faith and the work of TWR.

We are praising God that the family of the deceased has accepted this as an accident and that yesterday (22 Oct. 2009) L. was declared innocent in the accident and released. Last night was a joyous reunion with L., his family and friends. In addition we are praising God that the insurance company is paying for the damages involved in the accident.

Thanks again for your prayers in this situation. Please continue in prayer for the family of the man who was killed; he had a wife and two children. Also for L. and his family as they process these events. Pray for the team here in Benin as some are exhausted after the many long hours working through all the cultural and legal details.

Grace & Peace — Paul

On Thursday afternoon (Oct. 15, 2009) L., an employee of TWR in Benin, was going home from the transmitting site in his personal car when he was involved in an accident with a motorcycle in Parakou. L. was uninjured but the person on the motorcycle was killed. Through God’s divine providence and timing Pastor M. (a prominent pastor here in Benin) was able to intervene at the scene of the accident and with the police while I was able to comfort L. shortly after the accident. While L. is uninjured, he is very shaken up by the accident.

Please pray for the family of the person who was killed, for L., for legal details of the accident (which are not as cut and dry here as they are in the US) and for God’s continued providence. Also, thank God for His divine providence and timing immediately after the accident.

Grace & Peace — Paul

The meetings in Johannesburg went well. Everyone present was hoping to get a little further in developing our strategy but our praying, evaluating, learning, brainstorming and dreaming time together was very productive. Various people will be responsible for further developing what happened at our meeting to work toward a clear strategy, which we hope to finalize when I return to Johannesburg mid November.

Thank you so much for your prayers for this meeting and please continue praying for those who will be working on this strategy in the coming weeks.

After the meetings in Johannesburg I spent a few days with Nehemiah at Rift Valley Academy (RVA) in Kenya. Fortunately for me the cheapest route to Johannesburg at the moment is through Kenya so it was easy to extend my layover by a few days.

My time with Nehemiah and at RVA was very encouraging. Nehemiah loves being at RVA. He cannot wait until his sisters join him there. All things considered he is doing great. I met with a number of people to get their perspective on how Nehemiah is doing and everyone agrees that he is doing well. (This is not to say that everything is perfect as there has been some and will be some ongoing normal adjustments as is expected.)

Thanks for your prayers for our family as we have started this adventure of boarding school. Please keep praying for us as we continue to adjust to this new adventure.

Grace & Peace — Paul

Praise be to God that the Kennedy family, our TWR colleagues in Benin, arrived safely in Benin after a short home assignment and holiday in the UK. We are incredibly grateful to have them back. They add a key element to the team.

Currently I am in route to Johannesburg to help develop a strategic ministry plan. As I mentioned in my last blog, this strategic ministry plan will then drive our decisions, structures and budgets. This is the first of two meetings I will attend in Johannesburg in the next six weeks.

Just as a point of clarification, the strategic ministry plan that we are developing deals with the specifics of how TWR Africa will accomplish the vision and mission of TWR. The vision of TWR is to reach the world for Christ so that lasting fruit is produced. The mission of TWR is summarized as assisting the church to make disciples of all peoples by proclaiming the gospel, instructing in biblical doctrine and working through partnerships. Visit www.twr.org for more information.

Please pray that these meetings would be Spirit lead with unity, clear biblical reflection, wisdom, understanding and creative innovation. Also continue to pray that I would remain desperate for God and that He would give me wisdom in eliminating busyness and increasing true kingdom work.

Grace & Peace — Paul